


Sick Of Losing Soulmates

by intothemidnightblue



Series: Musicbox [9]
Category: Sugar Pine 7 RPF
Genre: Episode Related, Gen, a lil tongue in cheek there at the end because im sappy and tired, no shipping in this one just a thought provoking conversation, season 2 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 05:38:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13140192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intothemidnightblue/pseuds/intothemidnightblue
Summary: God knows where I would beif you hadn’t found mesitting all alone in the dark.





	Sick Of Losing Soulmates

**Author's Note:**

> Hi every mood I feel has to be a songfic  
> Steven’s monologue in the S2 finale reminded me I love my friends and also made me gayer with emotion. AU where they totally had their party on Christmas Eve what are you talking about filming things ahead of the day they’re posted is impossible don’t come in here and threaten my children like this.  
> title and summary lyrics from Sick Of Losing Soulmates by the lovely dodie clark. i want her to be my mum even though we're only like three years apart.

The party had lulled gently into a friendly gathering of drunks and drivers, they had all done their loud and boisterous greetings, then once more for the camera, Steven had read his monologue and everyone sat proudly for a family picture to commemorate the night. Everything was great and swell and there was no way but up for them, yet something had Steven slinking away from the pack at a moment’s peace.

He found enough quiet on the back porch, sitting on a step looking out at what was dark enough to be an empty sheet of nothing but figments of his imagination moving in the shadows. The party was still clearly going on behind him, punctuating his thoughts with the promise that he’s not truly alone as he sat, backlit by the motion of his friends beyond the door that whispered an announcement of a new presence as it slid open. Footfalls enunciated in the quiet as Parker sat down with him.

“I know that look,” Parker nudged him gently bringing Steven’s full attention to his friend.

“I’m just thinking about what I said,” Steve explained lightly.

“I know, you’re worried because as soon as you get these moments of peace, something always seems to want to tear it away, and you want to be ready for it,” Parker threaded Steven’s thoughts out of his mind, starting their patchwork conversation that came from friends you’ve already fought for.

“No matter how truly I expressed myself in there, the fact of the matter is that life doesn’t work on “if” statements. If you don’t give up, then things work out in the end. I’ve fought hard to keep people who didn’t want to stay. I’ve had people try and hold on to the friendship I had with them as we both drifted away. It isn’t always tied up in a neat bow, sometimes things just end, and no matter of trying will bring it back. Thinking that all you have to do is shout a little louder, or be there a little bit longer, it’s not always the healthiest route. What if... I’m putting out the wrong message?” Steven worried. Parker sighed, fiddling with a loose stone as he collected his thoughts as elegantly as possible.

“Your speech, monologue, whatever you want to call it, it was not about holding tight to those friendships that fade out. It was about recognizing what makes friendships last. It was realizing that the friendships that matter most are the ones that you work for, and want to work for. It was the growth of your character from someone who was more self-serving than anything, to a person who found that he deeply cares for all his friends who love and support him and that he was going to fight for them as they do for him.

“Was it clear enough though? Did I really express that well enough, or is the fact that I’m even worrying about this proof enough that it’s not going to be good enough to be impactful,” Steve looked away, “what happens when all of this fall apart, my message will just be a cautionary tale of foolhardiness and ignorance.”

“You can speak as clearly and precisely as possible, but some people just won’t see it. Realizing what really matters in friendship, what’s worth holding on to... it’s a lesson everyone has to learn for themselves. It comes with age, and putting that kind of learning experience into words is not easy. To tell you the truth, the story you’ve told over this season, it’s the perfect way to represent that kind of growth. I couldn’t give you a better example. Sure it’s not your normal coming-of-age tale, but it’s got that same impact and hopefulness that drives someone to make something better of themselves, whether the lesson sticks for the next hour or the rest of their lives,” Parker squeezed Steven’s hand, who gave a weak smile in return. He was still processing Parker’s words. They made him more hopeful than he’d felt when he had just come out here for some air. For a moment there, he had forgotten the story, and it was just himself reflected in the lease of the camera, not a role he plays or a script he memorized. Parker helped bring him back, and as the clock struck midnight and the first seconds of Christmas Day were born, Steven found strength and a new hope for the future.

“When did you get so good with words?” Steven joked playfully, lightening the heavy malaise that had spread over them during the conversation. Parker just shrugged noncommittally.

“Someone else with a lot more time wrote his words very carefully, I’m just the medium to best express them,” Parker answered truthfully.

“Oh,” was Steve’s response, “that’s... pretty fuckin meta, especially including the context of the episode this is based on, specifically the conversation you had with Cib.” Parker knocked the front of Steven’s hat as he got up. “How about we wait until the video comes out before referencing it,” Parker laughed as Steven slapped what he could reach of him with the hat. “I’ll see you inside, Steve,” He said as he snatched the hat away, waving it proudly as Steven watched him leave. There was a clamour as Cib noticed Parker’s return, and with it, a wave of noise as most of the boys cheered and hollered for something a lot less valiant than the raucous would have you assume. A warm smile spread across Steven’s face as he got up and really appreciated what he was walking into.

Here, with everyone he loves all around him all celebrating their shared achievements together, for the company he created and built around these people, all this... this was home.

**Author's Note:**

> I Did That... by 2:21p on Christmas Day. It’ll be three by the time this is posted. 
> 
> comments and kudos would be extra great for this fic in particular, because it's a lot different than what i normally write. comments in particular.  
> find me on tumblr @ [lockewoodandco](http://www.lockewoodandco.tumblr.com)  
> twit @ [ jaceisblue](http://twitter.com/jaceisblue)
> 
> Merry Christmas!


End file.
